Found Poem #5

SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY PAPERS

Dagwood:  Blondie curves all over.  She gets extra lines for cleavage, breasts, her butt, and a simple V has you looking down from the Mound of Venus. All I get for my lines is a sort of baggy androgyny.  Her hair is always perfectly curled, while mine is a mess, sticks out like a little boy’s, like Alexander’s.  Poor Alexander.  He got my eyes, too, these ghoul eyes.  We should be wearing sheets.  At least he has decent clothes, modern clothes, and not this stupid tux with one button, a leftover from the good old days before Daddy wrote me out of his will. Tsk.  Then he lined me up with that skinflint Dithers.  I haven’t had a raise in fifty years.  What must Blondie, in all her perfection, think of me as she reads Colette and eats bonbons?  I’m sick of this stereotype.  I wouldn’t mind looking good for a change, looking like a real person, like a real man.  Sometimes I just want to punch the wall, but then Blondie would just hound me until I fixed it.

Blondie:  Dagwood is so lucky.  He gets all the action, and I’m seldom seen beyond the front door.  He’s human.  He works, hangs out at the water cooler, naps, makes sandwiches, argues with Mr. Dithers, Herb, and the mailman, and, gee, what a range of emotions!  If I’m not feigning a tear or smiling, I’m sitting around with this surprised expression, and I’m not surprised at all, really. I am not a manikin! Gosh, how I miss Boopadoop.  What fun I had!  But then the bottom fell out.  Big Daddy disowned us.  We had Alexander, then Cookie.  I’m not sure Dag finds me desirable anymore.  I had him read, “Madam Bovary.”  He didn’t get it.  Oh, he laughed and laughed, but he didn’t get it. I wouldn’t mind being human for a change. Sometimes I just want to scream, scream and…and throw dishes.  But we are on that darn budget.

Dagwood:  Blondie, honey, are you in bed?

Blondie:  Yes, dear. Are you coming?

Dagwood:  As soon as I finish this sandwich, sweetie. 


sk/84 

Found Poem #4

MUZZY MOON (in Tiny Tim Falsetto)

It’s a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon!

It’s a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon!

I see it in the sky, with its star up there so high,

It’s a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon!

I look at it, nod, and pray for peace,

and think of the atrocities in Nice.

It’s so pretty up above, why can’t we all love,

‘neath a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon.

Think of all those centuries in Crete,

where they fought and died, but never did beat feet.

The Moon’s still there to see, and all the Cretans free,

‘neath a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon.

Do what pleases you, but leave me be.

Like Kaepernick, with whom I disagree,

we have the right today to have our fucking say,

‘neath a muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon.

I have three gods up lounging in the blue,

and I don’t need another, but, thank you,

and if I lose my head, well, I’ll march on off to bed,

‘neath this muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy,

muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy,

muzzy, muzzy, muzzy, muzzy moon!

sk/2016 

Found Poem #3

ON LEAVE BEFORE SAILING TO BELFAST
ABOARD THE QUEEN MARY

There was little to do in Wheeling,
West Virginia, on leave, early forties,
with Clyde, drinking. The girls, he said,
were in church, so they went,
and, too, for the snake handling,
sat on the oak pew, right up front.
The serpents were sluggish at first,
coming up from the basement,
spilled, all tangled, from an orange crate,
but when they warmed, they crawled.
Clyde was laughing, whooping,
praising the Lord, while Steve
watched the floor, the baby
on a green blanket. The preacher,
spitting damnation in a snake's sleepy face,
approached, veered toward Steve,
"Do you believe in Jesus, soldier?"
Steve leaned back in the pew,
"Yeah, fella, I believe in Jesus,
but I don't trust that snake,
and if you don't get the son-of-a-bitch out
of my face right now, I'm going to deck you."
Clyde sobered, grabbed his friend.
They went outside,
hoping girls would follow.

sk/86

Found Poems #2

RIDING ON THE KING'S HIGHWAY

Each subway stop
from King's Highway to Central Park
is like old Dante's journey
through Hades in the dark.
No one sees the oarsman;
they know their leveled Hell,
and don't need to be told, "Get off!"
They know their lives quite well.

But Vik and I were for the ride,
to gauge the elevation.
Though she knew well the taste of Hell,
she memorized each scene,
and hoped to find God drinking
at the Tavern on the Green.

sk/sep84

Found Poems #1

DEATH CONCEPTION

"She opened, like a shell in the sea
she opened, and he fell drowning into her."

And from that point of passion, no doubt,
conception, there comes, in the next line,
death, visions of a child's coffin,
the stoic mother,
the dazed father,
a struggle, then, for religion,
a crawling through snake-root,
mangrove swamp, back to the edge
of disbelief, and disbelieves again.

sk/sep84